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My Adorable Kids + My Accidental Face Wax

These kids of mine are the light of my life! Every time we do a little mini shoot and I get pictures back, I get alllll the heart eyes! 🙂 I will link our outfits below. You can also see my outfit post here

The other day my husband and I were talking about traits we hope our kids get from us and all the great qualities we saw from our own parents. This conversation quickly led to the traits we hope our kids don’t get from us. Ha! Every parent has that thought, right?! The first thing I thought of what I hope Blakely doesn’t get is my massive amount of hair (unless, of course, that hair is on her head).

I’m a hairy person. It’s a curse. But also a blessing, I guess. I have a lot of hair on my head. That’s a good thing (besides the day I have to wash, dry and curl it. That day sucks.) and I’m grateful. But I’m also just hairy everywhere else. The summer after third grade, the boys called me “gorilla” at the pool because my legs were so hairy. My hair would turn bleach blonde and my skin would get pretty dark from playing at the pool all day long every day. Being called “gorilla” isn’t my best childhood memory. But I guess it’s better than when that nasty biotch Lauren named me “Step-on-my-butthairs”. Yeah, she can go to hell.

After I told my mom about the boys calling me “gorilla”, she decided to let me shave that summer. But she probably should have just taken me to a salon and gotten me a full-body wax right then and there.

Later in life, I was teased for my arm hair. Again, long and think. Bright blonde against my tanned skin in the summers. I tried getting them waxed a few times. But it was too much money for our family, so I decided to start shaving them, too. Body hair is a real problem, guys. I go through razors like no one else. Maybe I should buy stock in Gillette. I mean, I’m guessing poor Blakely isn’t going to escape this curse. I’m heartbroken for her already. #firstworldproblems

So fast forward to my college days. I was getting my hair colored and washed by a great friend, Cassie. I was leaning back to get my hair washed when she shouted, “BUTTARS! Don’t you wax your upper lip??” I was like, “uh, eww. No. Gross!” I had no idea that was a thing. She told me I needed to do it asap. LOL I love her. So I started doing it. But again, pricey little wax job for a poor college chick.

So one day I was with my friend/roomie. Her mom had a little salon in their home. She did some waxing and offered to wax me. So we went over there one day for her to do a simple lip wax. But she noticed I had lots of hair in other places, too. Like, my whole face. I think she just didn’t know where to stop the lip wax to make it so it wasn’t obvious. So she just accidentally kept going and welp, before you know it… my ENTIRE face was waxed. Thank God she left my eyebrows! You guys, THE ENTIRE THING!!! Bahahaha I’m still laughing just thinking about this!!! The room was silent while she was waxing me and no one knew exactly what to think. I probably thanked her, even though I actually wanted to cry. Because… what just happened?!

The extra shitty part was that in two days I was going on a vacation with my then-boyfriends family to CA! I remember being soooo self conscious and every time I would put my face toward the sun my boyfriend kind of looking at me like what the fuck? Something weird happened to her face! OMG. SO embarrassing, guys. He never asked anything. And I was legit too embarrassed to even say out loud I’M A HAIRY BEAST AND ACCIDENTALLY GOT MY ENTIRE FACE WAXED!!

I since then have stuck with the basic lip wax. Never again will I wax my entire face. But I guess lesson learned? Don’t wax your entire face. And don’t let your friends wax their entire face. Peace.

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